Teach Communication Before Behavior Has to Get Louder

Notice what the child already says

Communication may be spoken, signed, gestured, pictured, typed, or shown through movement and behavior. Start by noticing the forms the child can use now.

If adults only respond to perfect words, the child may need to escalate before the message is recognized.

Teach the message that solves the immediate problem

Useful early messages often include help, break, more, all done, wait, attention, different, and too loud. Choose the message based on what the child needs, not what looks most advanced.

The response must be easier than the behavior it is meant to replace. A five-word sentence is not functional during distress if the child can reliably point to one symbol.

Make communication work quickly at first

When teaching a new request, respond consistently and with as little delay as possible. The child is learning that this message changes what happens.

Later, the team can build waiting, flexibility, and tolerance for “not right now.” Those skills are easier to teach after the child trusts that communication is meaningful.

Prompt before the crisis

Watch for early signals and prompt the communication while the child can still access the skill. Once the child is highly distressed, language and learning may be less available.

After a hard moment, revisit the plan. Ask which signal was missed and whether the replacement communication was truly efficient.

Honor communication without promising unlimited access

Responding to communication does not mean every request must be granted exactly as asked. It means acknowledging the message and providing the most meaningful safe response available.

A request for a break might lead to a brief pause, support, or a modified task. A request for an unavailable item might lead to clear information and a choice. The child should learn that communication brings understanding, even when the answer has limits.

• What does my child do before behavior escalates?
• What message would help in that moment?
• Can my child use it while stressed?
• Do all important adults respond in a similar way?
• Are we teaching waiting only after communication is established?